“I walk a lonely road,
The only one that I have ever known.
Don’t know where it goes,
But it’s only me, and I walk alone.” – Green Day
Is it just me, or do you also hate seeing people’s group photos showing that they have a bunch of friends? Meanwhile, I struggle just trying to find someone to go to lunch with.
A few weeks ago, I had a Friday off from the kids (that never happens) because their grandmother wanted them for a few hours. And I couldn’t find a single person to hang out with. Is that sad? Yeah, dude, it is. A 5 pm on a Friday and I could not find one single person. I even asked my Mom. I ended up going out with my Dad. There’s nothing wrong with that, but you get what I’m saying here.
“Mom-ships” are so important to our well-being, yet some of us are still having trouble finding or keeping that special mom friend (or non mom friend).
We need these other moms in our life to assure us they’re going through the same things, and that we’re not completely failing our kids. So, why are we still without these friends? Why have we given up trying to find these friendships? Most importantly, why do moms seem so lonely?
It’s (almost) funny saying that moms are lonely, only because we are constantly surrounded by our little ones. As awesome as that is, we do need some adult relationships to stay sane and happy.
As a mother of 2 little tiny ones, I understand why these mom-ships are so rare. There’s so much going on in our lives right now, it’s hard to make a deep connection with someone new. It’s hard enough finding a day that fits both your schedules, now we have to have chemistry and whatnot?
I love my babies, but I need more than just their company some days.
Not because I don’t love spending time with them- because I surely do very much so- but I’m more than just their mom.
I’m more than a diaper changer and a laundromat.
Right now- I feel like a mother and a maid. I feel like I’m the cook and the lecturer all day long. I feel like all I do is say “no.”
There’s more to me than that.
That’s why I need a mom friend. I need someone to make me feel like I’m more than that.
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But why not a non mom friend? *Non moms are great friendships to have, too! And I can write another whole post on just how important it is to have one of those, but each type of friendship has it’s own benefits.*
I need someone that’s going to understand that I can’t go out at 10pm to hear that band play.
And someone who’s not going to tell me about their drunken night, giving me major FOMO (although I do love a good gossipy story).
I need someone who’s not going to make me feel guilty about talking about my kids too much.
I need someone who’s not going to judge me when I yell at my kids. Someone who’s going to cry with me about our kids getting older.
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I need someone who’s going to be able to deal with my kids’ tantrums.
At this point, I just need someone to relate to. Someone who’s going through the same stuff as me.
And I’m not bashing non moms, I’m really not. In fact, my very best friend, whom I’ve been BFFs with for almost 20 years (wow), is a non mom. And honestly, she’s really great when it comes too all of this because she does try to understand my perception of it all.
AND I have another non mom friend whom I’ve only been friends with for about a year, maybe even less, and while she might not quite understand what my life is right now, she tries her best to make it better. Especially if she knows I’m having a tough time.
Friends are just all in all, good for the soul.
Don’t overlook your happiness. It’s one of the most important things to stay on top of. I know I NEED one of these mom friends. Preferably someone who’s in the same “situation” as I am.
Every day that goes by, I feel less and less like a person and more and more like a grumpy old lady. It’s just the way it is right now.
To all of you who have those “perfect” friendships, keep them close; make sure you’re treating your friend dates as top priority, they’re so important.
So drop your kids off at school and go to breakfast with a friend. Or schedule a play date so you get that special time with an adult. You need it, and they might need it, and too.
