I Feel Defeated Today

Today defeated me.

I simply lost.

All day long.

Everything I did seemed to go wrong, and my kids did everything they could (not on purpose) to make sure that I knew that.

 

Today was just not a good day.

My daughter threw a tantrum that seemed to last 5 hours (I’m not joking).

She kicked, she screamed, she threw toys, she cried for reasons that I didn’t know, and she wouldn’t nap (what else is new).

I just watched as she dumped practically a whole bag of cereal onto the living room carpet. I didn’t have the energy to stop her. Even though I knew I’d be the one who had to clean it up.

She refused to accept any of the 23 sippy cups that I have gathered over the past 6 months, and threw every single one of them to the ground until I gave in and gave her a bottle.

I gave in.

Me, the mom who is supposed to be the strongest one in the house, gave in to a tantrum.
Again. I knew how important it is to get her off that bottle, but yet, I still gave in.

My son, who is usually a happy soul, wasn’t interested in today, either.

He spit up on every blanket he owns, and soaked about 4 onesies.

It’s not his fault, I told myself, but it’s still so frustrating.

I forced smiles all day long so my kids wouldn’t catch my bad energy as I know how contagious it can be.

I gave my daughter a piece of candy because I just couldn’t listen to her tantrum anymore.

I sat them in front of the TV just to give myself a few minutes to cry in the pantry and recharge with 12 cups of coffee.

Today, I couldn’t find the motivation to go grocery shopping, even though I knew we didn’t have any food left in the house.

Now, it’s 6:30 pm + my daughter is passed out on the living room floor because she missed her nap.

My son is in just a diaper because I don’t have the energy to put him in another outfit.

Grocery shopping is no longer an option due to the last two sentences.

Today was not a good day.

But I still kissed my kids all over and gave them a jillion hugs just so they know I still love them and it’s not their fault.

I did lose today.

I hope I win tomorrow.